Sanguine. Means optimistic.
It implies that a person can look towards the bright side even if it is non-existent.
It means that a person can stay hopeful even if everyone else gets hopeless.
I am that person. I am sanguine.
But today, I don’t think I can be.
He lied to me again. I forgave him the first time. And then the second time. And even this time. But my heart can’t look towards the positive side. I think I’m broken..
Maybe lie is a strong word. Maybe I should say that he kept something from me. Something that I deserved to know. And whenever I asked about it, he assured that there was nothing to worry about.
He is a good man. Always has been. But what he doesn’t realize is that keeping important information from me isn’t protecting anyone. It’s just going to make me the jealous, paranoid person that he doesn’t like. And I start hating myself. And then him for making me hate me.
Now, I’ll want to go through his phone and hack his Facebook and read his emails. But no. I wont let him make me this person. He asked for forgiveness and assured me that he wont make this mistake again. Everyone deserves another chance, whether it be the fourth. I believe true love gives unlimited chances provided the other person understands their mistakes and is willing to amend their ways. Both for themselves and for their loved ones. Who knows, I could be in his position too. No one should feel like they are a villain, no one should feel like they destroy the person they love. I’m sure he doesn’t want me to be broken.
So I’ll show him.
That his love has fixed me.
That his sincere apology and effort to stop doing something that hurts me has fixed me. After all, I’ll do the same for him any day.
This is what sanguine is all about. It fixes broken people. Helps people see the good in their life. Helps people realize their life isn’t so bad. That the people they love are only people and they will make mistakes. Just like you will.
All you have to do is let the negativity fly away…